How to Disagree Well

Disagreeing comes naturally to everyone.  We all have cherished opinions, views we often hold to be on the level of indisputable truth.  Unfortunately when two contrasting opinions meet contention frequently results.  Some avoid conflict altogether by simply keeping their opinions to themselves.  Others strive to resolve the apparent contention by giving in and conceding their point, another means of avoiding conflict.  Still others argue to the death in a win at any cost, take no prisoners approach.  One would hope that there might still be another option that does not need to fall to either extreme.

On the Crossings website a view was offered on "How to Disagree Well" by the Rev. Dr. S. John Roth.  His advice on how to disagree well is summarized in the following three points: 

1) Fairness. I am disagreeing well when I can state the position of the person I am disputing with accurately enough that that other person recognizes that position as genuinely his/her position.
2) Intellectual integrity. I am disagreeing well when I can state the strongest, most compelling argument against my position. In other words, I am disagreeing well when I can recognize and acknowledge where my own position is most vulnerable and where a contrasting position makes valid points.
3) Honest humility. I am disagreeing well when, after thinking through my position and expressing it with true conviction, I acknowledge that as a fallen, flawed human being I myself may be wrong.

There is much here to commend.  Too often we become so caught up in our own opinions and views we forget that it is still necessary to be polite, respectful and fair no matter how passionate we might be about the topic.  As a technique of debating it is always good to be aware of the vulnerable areas of your own argument.  We can have a blind spot to our weaknesses because our our self-assured certainty.  And, as Dr. Roth notes, we must always be conscious of our human sinfulness, realizing that even with the best intentions we can end up treating people rudely, forgetting to see them as fellow children of God.  How often we have all deplored the violation of Luther's principle in the 8th commandment to "put the best construction on everything," or "explain everything in the kindest way."  It never serves our purpose to disparage the motives of our opponent, painting them as a villain just because they believe something with which we vehemently disagree.  Sometimes people have blind spots of their own and simply can't see the flaws of their views.  Patience to help the person see this may take time, but in the end it will certainly leave you with a chance of disagreeing yet not descending into the rancor of hate-filled rhetoric.

As one who has labored in the church I have seen more than my share of poor disagreements.  Unfortunately with election season upon us we are afforded a daily opportunity to see this phenomena played out in bold and living color.  Perhaps at the beginning of a new year it is a good time to remind ourselves that disagreeing can actually be done well, but we will have to work at it for it to be that way.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Firefighter's Cross

Image
[Note: A similar article to this will be shared with my department at their next meeting. During this Lenten season when we are meditating on the significance and meaning of the Passion of our Lord and the Cross at Golgotha, it seemed like one way to offer a witness to the department that captured their interest and yet was not too heavy.] [Editorial Note: In response to a recent comment on this article I have made some changes to the original version of this article especially in regard to references to the so-called St. Florian's Cross. For any confusion the previous unreferenced information may have caused I apologize. I hope that the changes are satisfactory.] THE STORY OF THE MALTESE CROSS In many ways the familiar symbol to the right requires no explanation. It is the universal insignia of firefighting nationwide. Yet the precise origins of this symbol are less clear. The most popular explanation proposes its beginning in the far distant past of medieval Crusaders fi...
Read more

Historical Roots of the Warham Guild Hood

Image
In doing just a little checking on the internet, it's interesting to see how the Warham Guild hood, which I have as part of my STM degree attire, is actually a throwback to the Medieval hood. One article notes "the work of the Warham Guild in its imaginative renderings of medieval hoods" (reference is from here ). Again, here is my hood: The Medieval hood, which was originally a very practical outer garment to cover a person's head and shoulders, protecting both from the elements, bears striking resemblance to this revived form: This hood was also a part of the garb of monks in that era. The Medieval hood, in some cases, also had what is known as a "liripipe," a long tail hanging from the back of a hood. You can see the modern stylized version of this on my own hood. From an article on "Academic hood development" we read that "By 1463 the favourite dress of doctors was the hood with round bell-shaped cape, and the lir...
Read more

Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed

Image
According to a recent documentary, for all the talk about academic freedom in the world of the large American university system, it would seem that it extends only as far as the system defines it - especially with regards to the subject of origins and science. Noted speechwriter Ben Stein stars as host of the film Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. Dr. Angus Menuge, professor of philosophy at CUW, highlights the film in an article included in the Concordia University - Wisconsin magazine Concordian , including some seemingly revealing details about the expulsion of talented scientists who apparently were ‘expelled‘ from their positions for mentioning the theory of Intelligent Design: “In the current climate, even when academicians have a relevant doctorate and a track-record of peer-reviewed publication, their careers suffer if they argue that the scientific evidence points to an intelligent source involved in the creation of the world. In 1992, Dean Kenyon, a biology professor at ...
Read more